why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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