check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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