Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.

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(231): View more from Michigan

My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.

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(818): View more from California

I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

either way he was missing a nipple.

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(714): View more from California

Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority

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(712): View more from Iowa

please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that

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