So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
