I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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