As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
