She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
