S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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