why didn't you poke me back
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
