I could have mohawked her pubes.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
