Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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