I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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