i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize