Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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