I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
