I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
