ya dads aren't the best wingmen
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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