well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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