Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
