Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We had sex on a dog bed..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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