There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
