Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
