i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
