Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
