i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
