i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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