It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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