he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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