Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You left your phone here
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