I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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