He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
