I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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