my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Randomize