i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
