It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
