I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize