p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I am mentally ready for anal.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
