Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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