well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
