you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
