when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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