I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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