Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I want her autograph on my taint
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
