Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Farmville is her only friend.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize