How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
