I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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