I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
