It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
