Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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