OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
