Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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