Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
