New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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