the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
