dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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