he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
