I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Floor bacon is actually really good
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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