I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
