I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
