is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
