No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
