guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize